Lance Armstrong Applies for Martyr Status

"Cue the photos of Lance Armstrong hung from a cross and dressed in bib shorts, pulled down awkwardly low revealing a tattoo that says “Only the UCI can judge me.” Late on Thursday evening less than two hours before the official deadline (ok three including the time zone difference), Lance Armstrong decided to accept the sanctions from the USADA instead of proceeding with the arbitration hearing. This means he will be issued a lifetime ban and stripped of almost all of his titles, most notably his seven Tour de France victories. If you read the publicity statement on his website, it sounds more like a noble hero conceding defeat in the face of the marauding enemy witch hunters who have so wrongfully persecuted him. Excuse me while I roll my eyes".
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